Saturday, September 6, 2008

Internship Reflection #4: The God Who Provides

One of the biggest impacts of the internship on myself over the summer was how I saw God shape my view of Him. But before going more into that, first some background on myself:

I'm a chronic worrier. In my life anything can become something for me to fret and mull over continually. Usually, however, I'm not aware of anything big going on in my life, and this probably doesn't come across in my everyday speech or actions. However, when something remains on my back-burner simmering long enough, I'll all of a sudden realize that something in my life is boiling over and the world begins to end.

So now back to what went on during the internship. The situation that had been simmering for months was a lack of progress on my medical school application. I had been taking care of business with the application (MCAT taken: check; MCAT scores: pending; Science Prof letters of evaluation: check; online application: started), but I had been just unable to get a single non-science professor to write a letter of recommendation for me. And it wasn't that I wasn't making calls or emails; I was just wasn't even getting any responses to anything to even ask a non-science professor to write a letter!

As the summer began to wear on I began to realize that if I didn't have a letter of recommendation in, a whole domino effect would happen to slow up the other parts of the application. I then realized that it would literally be a miracle for me to have an application together in time for October.

That realization then hit me like a flood along with other worries about Medical school in general and I literally worried myself sick over this. In the middle of that period then, the Lord began to show me that in my worrying the thing that was lacking, was any thought to how God was in control of my life and how He's the provider for all of my needs. Key in that was seeing how he always keeps his promises as I was seeing in Hebrews 6.

Not that things changed in the twinkling of an eye, but I was able to realize that in the end God really was the one in control, and that He always in every case has our best interest in mind, even if we don't think it's for our best interest.

While the application process is still ongoing, friends I want to urge you to praise our God! For in spite of all of the unanswered voice mails, emails, etc. to faculty members, the Lord in His sovereignty placed not one, but two of my favorite non-science faculty into my life at bizarre places (the street by Panera and Hershey park of all places!). And both were happy to write letters for me.

So what's the point of me telling you about this? Is this just going to be a cool story about God fulfilling my need, like a get out of jail free card? I pray not, because friends in all of this God was using the adversity to show that as the Proverbs say "The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory belongs to the Lord." (Pr. 20:31, ESV) and our God truly is our Father who in Christ loved us, adopted us, and is giving us every good thing, for His glory and our joy in seeing Him glorified! (Romans 8 is just too long to quote here :) but I'd point you to that too! )

Praise God for He is a loving Father who has adopted us in Christ, and in the end provides for every single need to His glory!

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