God's Timing Is Not Comfortable Timing

Over the past few months I've written about my experiences applying to medical schools. After much thought and prayer I concluded that medical school was what God was calling me to and so I applied.

However, medical school applications are anything but a quick process. My primary applications went off to schools in early September, my interviews were in December and January and now it's March and I still have no clue where I'll be next year. So far the only school to get back to me said that they wanted to keep comparing me to their other interviewees and would not give me a final answer for an undefined period of time.

And for me that is insanely frustrating. Personally I'm a very controlling person, and to know that I can't control when I'll get an answer about med schools means that I feel like I'm just floating helplessly along at the mercy of these arbitrary, often malicious forces (or that's what my mind thinks) known as admissions committees.

But friends God has been so good in this! I may feel like I'm just a helpless toy of the timetables of med schools, but God holds the world and medical schools in the palm of his hand. They do not operate outside of his will and if it is God's time for me to know about my future, then God would make it happen.

God's timing is not comfortable timing for me, but I can know that based on who God is I can wait. Over occupations, security, relationships, medical schools or any good thing in life God has given me Christ and secured for me a place in His Kingdom that cannot be shaken (Heb. 12:28); Even by medical school admissions committees!

You can be praying for me that I would trust God and not freak out about the time that he has me waiting right now. Please pray that as I wait I would know Christ more (Eph. 3:14-21) and to be diligent and finish the race of college well for God's glory instead of freaking out during the time that I have left.

God's Purpose in Physical Healing

On Wednesday night we had just an amazing Evangelistic Bible study. We were taking a gander at Mark 2:1-12 and in it there's just the crazy story of Jesus who heals that paralytic guy who was lowered through the roof (or "ruff" for those of you from the Midwest). You've probably, like me, heard it many times since way back in Sunday School. Normally I just left it there as just a great story about Jesus' ability to heal sickness and faith. But Wednesday I realized that there is just so much more to this story than that!

After telling how these 4 dudes come and lower the paralytic man through the roof, Mark relates how Jesus looked up, saw their faith and then in vs. 5, said "My son, your sins are forgiven." (ESV) Sins are forgiven, what's with that? These guys came for healing not forgiveness of sins. But then as soon as Jesus says this the nearby Pharisees start to question him, IN THEIR MINDS, and think about how this power to forgive sins only belongs to God.

And here's the amazing part, Jesus turns addresses their thought questions, and then says "'But that you may know that the Son of Man has the authority on earth to forgive sins'-he said to the paralytic-'I say to you, rise, pick up your bed and go home.'" (Mk. 2:10-11, ESV)

Jesus heals the man to show as literally walking proof to the world that he has power and authority (see also vs 8-9) to forgive sins, demonstrating his deity!

And so how does this relate to today? Well assuming that God is still in control of the universe, that means that he's also the one, while not physically present in Jesus, giving healing and controlling healing processes in every sick and sore person on the planet. That includes every single patient a doctor may ever see. But from a doctor's standpoint, if he realizes that it's God, not his skills and medicine per se, that ultimately gives healing, every single doctor has a wide open door to be an evangelist to point to healing and disease and showcase God's glory and sovereignty!

So my question is, do we actively look around and see sickness and healing as ways that God is demonstrating his power and authority to not only heal and fix, but also to forgive? Do we make the tie between control over the physical to control over the spiritual too?

Pretty deep thoughts, but that's totally awesome that while I'm not Jesus being to use healing to show my divinity, I could still later in my career use healing to point to God's provision, control and character!

Internship Reflection #4: The God Who Provides

One of the biggest impacts of the internship on myself over the summer was how I saw God shape my view of Him. But before going more into that, first some background on myself:

I'm a chronic worrier. In my life anything can become something for me to fret and mull over continually. Usually, however, I'm not aware of anything big going on in my life, and this probably doesn't come across in my everyday speech or actions. However, when something remains on my back-burner simmering long enough, I'll all of a sudden realize that something in my life is boiling over and the world begins to end.

So now back to what went on during the internship. The situation that had been simmering for months was a lack of progress on my medical school application. I had been taking care of business with the application (MCAT taken: check; MCAT scores: pending; Science Prof letters of evaluation: check; online application: started), but I had been just unable to get a single non-science professor to write a letter of recommendation for me. And it wasn't that I wasn't making calls or emails; I was just wasn't even getting any responses to anything to even ask a non-science professor to write a letter!

As the summer began to wear on I began to realize that if I didn't have a letter of recommendation in, a whole domino effect would happen to slow up the other parts of the application. I then realized that it would literally be a miracle for me to have an application together in time for October.

That realization then hit me like a flood along with other worries about Medical school in general and I literally worried myself sick over this. In the middle of that period then, the Lord began to show me that in my worrying the thing that was lacking, was any thought to how God was in control of my life and how He's the provider for all of my needs. Key in that was seeing how he always keeps his promises as I was seeing in Hebrews 6.

Not that things changed in the twinkling of an eye, but I was able to realize that in the end God really was the one in control, and that He always in every case has our best interest in mind, even if we don't think it's for our best interest.

While the application process is still ongoing, friends I want to urge you to praise our God! For in spite of all of the unanswered voice mails, emails, etc. to faculty members, the Lord in His sovereignty placed not one, but two of my favorite non-science faculty into my life at bizarre places (the street by Panera and Hershey park of all places!). And both were happy to write letters for me.

So what's the point of me telling you about this? Is this just going to be a cool story about God fulfilling my need, like a get out of jail free card? I pray not, because friends in all of this God was using the adversity to show that as the Proverbs say "The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory belongs to the Lord." (Pr. 20:31, ESV) and our God truly is our Father who in Christ loved us, adopted us, and is giving us every good thing, for His glory and our joy in seeing Him glorified! (Romans 8 is just too long to quote here :) but I'd point you to that too! )

Praise God for He is a loving Father who has adopted us in Christ, and in the end provides for every single need to His glory!