Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Responding to Life Being "On Hold"
Well as many of you know I've spent the last few weeks waiting to see if I would be pulled off of a waitlist for medical school. In God's providence however I have not been and now my focus has shifted to reapplication and continuing my research on PIV5.
One of the hardest things about this though is that in the past week Facebook has reminded me that I have many, many dear friends who did get accepted and spent the past week moving in, participating in orientations and attending their "White Coat Ceremonies" (This is where entering first year students "officially" begin med school and receive their white lab coats). In many ways I think that that's been kind of hard because my question is, "Well Lord why have you put my life on hold?"
In many of the same ways the Lord has been using this stage much like when I first started receiving wait-list letters to expose my pride and replace it with a joyful, humble trust in Him. He also ordained that in my quiet times this week one of the Psalms that I would read would be Ps. 107, where the final verse has been life and sustenance for me as I wrestle with my pride:
"Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things;
let them consider the steadfast love of the Lord." (Ps. 107:43 ESV)
The whole beginning on the psalm is a beautiful meditation on the sovereignty, power and mercy of the Lord. It as a whole the Psalmist's meditation and song of his consideration of the steadfast love of the Lord. And then at the end the Psalmist calls the reader then to do likewise: Consider and meditate on the steadfast love of the Lord.
It's not a quick fix, but I want to encourage you all that the Lord has been reminding me of this when I'm frustrated or begin to mull over this when I've got down time or am doing one of the more menial tasks during the day. And instead of this being a moment for wallowing in pride, God has been so merciful to teach me so much about his steadfast love that governs even my medical school reapplication and status that it leads me to praise rather than grumbling.
What other passages or verses have helped you to remember and trust in the Lord when you're tempted to grumble against Him?