How Much Do I Want This?

Frankly many days it's just easier to kick back, get my job done, head home, get some grub, chill and hit the sack. If that all manages to happen, life appears simple and easy. But in reality that's just an illusion.

If you look even for a second, there is something very wrong, very absent from that daily list. Yep, you guessed it God's gone. Or at least when I make that unconscious list, I don't invite him to have a say. My list making however has no bearing on the absolute glory of God. He still is the most valuable thing in the world and hasn't changed his call for me to treasure Him above all other things in Christ.

But most days, I really don't have this warm fuzzy feeling of insatiable desire Christ. What's more is in Philippians God calls us through Paul to:

"work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." (Phil. 2:12-13, ESV)

That especially pertains to questions that I face everyday:

"Do I really want to see this sin die and treasure Christ more?"
"Am I going to really invest in crying out to God in prayer all day or just go through the motions?"
"Am I going to ask for accountability on things to look good and Christianese or because I really want brothers and sisters to point me to Christ?"

And questions that I am facing especially right now:

"Do I really want to be a part of a church, even if I'm only here for a few months?"
"Do I really want other brothers to know me and point me to Christ?"
"Does being part of a church really mean being in fellowship, learning, growing and especially serving with others or do I just want to show up once a week and get my 'fix' of Christianity?"

And those are all hard questions that I have to answer every day. My dear friend Jeff has been asking me this question in light of Philippians 2:12-13 for awhile now, "Do I really want (blank)?" "Blank" could be any of those above great things; Gospel heart change, treasuring Christ more, seeing my coworkers come to know Christ, being a part of a church, etc.

Or like this past week when answering do I really want to know Christ through other believers in a church that I'll go to events where I really don't know anyone and meet other believers at my new church or will I duck out and sit at home?

It comes back to examining how much do I really want that change based on the Gospel even if the feelings aren't there or if I'm really scared. But there's the awesome part is that as I can mentally affirm, "Yep, I'm scared of going to this event, but I know fellowship with others will point me to Christ and I want Him." I can then act to "work out my salvation," knowing God is the one who "works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." He will make something of my following him into these situations even if I don't want to go meet others, pray earnestly, see life through the Gospel truth, etc.

So hopefully that's encouraging friends!